for those who can see my blog, i've change my add. ((:

http://ali-cious.blogspot.com/

how come i just got the feeling that i somehow feel better, without you by my side? im not sure is it better, or is it that i dont have to worry bout our friendship when you are not around. mayb staying away might make me feel safer and more secure.

should i make it clear or make things stay the way it is now? :s

hahas, i guess afterall, i mean nth to you. isnt it? lols.

yea, von's right. different definations, different views, and different thinking.
you dont even care that i might be worried.

((: back from work. and sad to say, it's the last day of hols today. )):

on fri, went swimming with girlfriends. ((: had tons of fun. swam, crap, joked, and fooled around. girls, we must still get together like that even thou school has started for some, and going to for the others. im sure we can still stay close eh? (((:

than last night caught 300 with colleagues. HAHS, shaojing and i wore almost the same thing! but she's much more, outstanding, uhh, i mean. (x. hahas. uhh, the movie, it's violent i can say, and sure, it has it's reason for being rated M18. lols. supper-ed after that, yea, prata again. lols. hmm, than kang and shyan sent me back to my granny's hse. (: thanks. i wanna work and dun wanna go sch. ): sad.

i stand low/no chance, what do you think?

bestie will be back soon (:

LM, lols. maybe i shouldnt have went to work today. hahs. ):

UHH, damn it laa. it's just that i dont wanna say or express it out. but there goes my chance, just like that. FUCK can.

maybe you dont know, that was not what i wanted. ):

im sooooo tired today laa. )): i slept in the train and i almost missed my stop. luckily i woke up just in time. lols.

bridging course again, and went to tonkichi for lunch. HAHS, i was like, totally speechless can. esp when Jingming kept sayin some weird things when we were walkin to the mrt. i was like, O.o, than, -.-ll. hahas.

i just woke up not long ago, and im going back to bed soon again. i need myself re-charged, so that i'll have the energy to have fun with the girls tml. ((: im off. nights.

hahs, i realised that maybe you dont need me at all, and afterall, maybe it was just my habit. perhaps, i was just used to need-ing you. hahs.

i miss him? no.

AH! why did i fall asleep so early last night? )): sian.

i duno why but i kept yawning today, despite that fact that i went to bad freaking early ytd, which was a stupid stupid thing to do. hahs. and yea, chem is getting more and more complicated, sooner or later it'll definitely go crazy. HAHS. ):

hmm, will it matter to you?

so far so good, but i think it wont be lasting long. hahhs. just feeling bad.

went for bridging course today. BUT, im so sad. im in a class, ALL BY MYSELF. uh, only im alone. UHH, sadd laa! ))): but than today's lecture was alright, i managed to understand almost everything. yea. ((: something to be happy about.

somehow, im just so so so high at work today! ((((: lols. i think von should know why. cause she's equally high and our reason is bout the same, just that the factor is diff. hahas.

if there's a reason for me to smile at work, it'll definitely be, .... ((:

): guess bestie's one his way to m'sia now. or mayb he've reached there alr. hahs. somehow i just feel weird, 1week without bestie. ah! unsafe and insecure. hahas.

i wan lots and lots of honey on my hotcakes! SWEETS! ((:

i tried my best to succumb my temper the past two days. dont tell me you didnt realise it. im not going complains or blah blah laa, im just too tired of those alr. all i want to say is, im disappointed, and, i'll be giving up.

just hope bestie'll enjoy his trip to Genting, and take good care of himself. pray that he'll wont forget me after that one week. it might seem short but you'll never know. and most imptly, MY PRESENT, is he ever forget, i think he can stay there and forget bout coming back. (x hahs, take care wawa. (:

hotcakes rocks!((:

you always tell me that you'll try, but than, ask yourself, how many times did you say that, and out of that, how many times did you really mean it? i guess it'll never never be the same again.

read some things that i shouldnt have read. i feel pretty bad now. if it's really like wat von said, it's just a habit, how come i can feel my heart prickling when i saw that? i have no idea too. mayb it's just regrets and 'bu fu qi' that those never happened to me before. haas. sounds dumb.

thou it's hols next week, but it aint gonna be much rest for me i guess.

i was just trying my best to make you feel better. hoping that i can cheer you up somehow. but i think i did the reverse in the end and made you even more troubled. im sorry, i failed as your fren.

im in Innova JC now. (: 2nd day of sch today. started attending lectures and physics that used to be my better sub, now is like so unfamiliar to me. have to do some work on my A maths, cause things that i've learnt, ive almost forgotten all. i hope i'll be able to catch up real soon. there'll be lots of work to do i supposed.

hahs, it has been quite some time since i really blogged. lols. went sentosa with colleagues on tue, one day before sch started. had fun, hahs. ((: somehow, there's just some things that im damn happy about. ((: hahas.
sometimes when i'm in school, i just wished that how nice if i was not there but workin.

anyway, went kbow with meiping and vonne just now. LOL, the waiters there are, -.-lll. hahs.

UHHH, bestie will be gg to m'sia this sat. ): ONE WEEK LEH! )): and the best part, the one week just happened to be my sch holidays. ))):

how you ever cared bout how i feel?
im feeling so terrible now, and it's like as if, you'll know.

sorry i raised my voice. i really dont wish to say anything or even hear his name. i know if i just open my mouth and say sth, i'll start crying like nobody business. all i needed at that time was to be alone.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

ive been lying to myself all the while. i knew everything but i pretended that i knew nth and be a fool.

sometimes, it just sounds like every word will always be wrong, or if not, not right for you to hear. but everything that the other girls said will just be like fairy sprinkling magic dust over your head and make u grin like an idiot.

im just sick of the feeling of coming the last behind everything. the last person on earth that you'll care for. the last thing on your mind. just the last and last of everything. im so sick, so irritated. couldnt you care more?

do you that accomplishing the things that you've promised me will naturally put everything to an end? is it all that we are worth? or should i say the thing that i treasured the most just turned out to be a deal, in exchange for a date, a damn day?